a broken heart..and a hope that refuses to die

hello everybody.
it has been a while since I've written.
i am actually writing under the saddest of circumstances.
you all know Israel and Palestine are in the midst of peace talks. yes, peace talks. sounds like a joke, doesn't it? it's incredible. so many years of dreaming and waiting and here we are in the midst of direct talks: why does it all feel so dull?

well, obviously: we have been disappointed and disillusioned so many times, it seems none of us can muster even the slightest bit of enthusiasm. we have become hardened by our sad reality,our hope has reduced itself to a tiny trickle...it seems hallucinatory to think that under the existing circumstances, any progress can be made...
and yet....??
who knows?? the tiny dream naggingly persists...

one thing is for sure: the extremists on both sides will do their very best to destroy what is being built. they thrive on fear, hatred and suspicion. they are vampires, lurking the dark nights of our lives, sucking the fresh blood of hope from the bodies of our children.yes, i know that's graphic and jolting, but no understatement is in order where these monsters are concerned.
we witnessed Lieberman's bleek speech at the UN (yes, words are as destructive as bombs),the shooting of the Jewish family in the territories, the burning and defiling of mosques by settlers, we see the devilish joy in the eyes of those eager to continue the "building" in the settlements, that "building" which is actually a guise for destruction and hopelessness...and all in the name og god, of course, as always.

and now, another bitter anecdote to add to the growing list of atrocities.

i have a good friend, an amazing man. i cannot disclose his name, so a snot to endanger him forther.
he is a Palestinian peace activist who has dedicated his life to working with young people in Gaza and offering an alternative to the hate-driven terrorist organizations who suck in the youth and recruit them for acts of violence and suicide.
this man is a man of principles. a man of peace. dedicated to building bridges, to deepening understanding. a man a valour.

when hamas took over Gaza, his life was in danger. he escaped , with the help of his Israeli friends and colleagues, to ramallah, just hours before they came for him. he and his immediate family now live in ramallah, where he continues his peace activity.

but.... his brother and mother were left behind.

a few weeks ago his brother was arrested by hamas and thrown into prison.
through great efforts, a red-cross representative was allowed to visit him, and reported that he was alive, but nothing more.

a few days ago, hamas made the news public:
40 people, whose names were listed, had been arrested and imprisoned, accused of collaborating with Israel.

they are to be given a "fair trial", and executed.

my friend's brother was on the list.

since then, his mother has stopped taking her medicine, eating or drinking. she has no reason to live.
my friend is on the verge of physical and mental collapse.

he, and all of us, are helpless in the face of such cruelty, such madness, such sinister atrocity.

and all for what?
for revenge? for a public display of power? to remind Abbas whose boss?? to tamper with the Peace talks? to make sure terror continues to reign supreme???

yes, all of the above.
yes, god above, all in your name.


i am disgusted, appalled and nauseous.
i do not want to think what my friend is going through (he is not answering the phone)

if there is a god up there, (which i highly doubt), this would be a good time to show some of that merciful etc etc he or she is attributed with.

as for you, "brave" leaders of Israel and Palestine....work it out already!!!! if he is do die, let it not be in vain!!!!!!

with my deepest wish for better days,
a heartbroken Noa